Pick me up…no no put me back down…

i thought id take the time to share some of winners who have tried to contact me on my online profile. i get it, sometimes online dating can be hard and you need to say something to stand out from the rest of the schmucks. unfortunately these need to try again. do these pick-up lines really work on women? i wasnt feelin it so i didnt respond to these guys. was that rude? whoops. here we go…

8:46pm: “hey gorgeous, saw your profile and wanted to ask if we could be friends and know each other more. i moved recently to the area from Boston for new job in biotech company. was thinking if we could meet sometime for dinner, drinks or movie?      thanks.

8 minutes later… “hope you could reply”

-no thanks boston. ill pass. besides clocking on your profile and seeing id be 5 inches taller than you and look like your bodyguard, im gonna take a wild guess we dont have much in common.

3:38pm: “i like how you used the word lady. i cant get myself to message a “gal” “gurrrl” or “grrl” and other such variants of women. whats up?

the next day: “it isn’t lady like not to reply my lady. :p”

-when you have something in your profile about being a grammar nazi, ill pass.

6:40am: “hello miss, how are you? i wonder is your heart sweeter than your beauty?”

-nope. its not. i dont even have a heart. click.

10:14am: “would you merry me? dont get freaked out im just joking lol but those are the only words i can say to someone has the most romantic face with a smile on it i have seen in a long time you so beautiful and i might even fall in love with you if i keep looking at your face 🙂 please tell me what kind of miracle do i need to have dinner with you sometimes and be able to know you more in person??”

-who doesnt like a good italian man? but slow down there mister. and can you learn where to put a period, comma, semicolon…anything?

10:39am “you are really unbelievably drop dead fred gorgeous. my god. *faints*

-good movie, but youre a little dramatic mr.

10:42am “wow..i honestly cant find a single thing wrong with you. youre gorgeous, you sound very unique and interesting which paired with a sexy body almost never happens. and youre close! ahh!! =D please tell me noone has stolen you yet?!? not sure exactly what im after on this site, all i know is i just spent alot of time checking you out and i dont want to leave=))”

-creepy. i feel like the possibility of being turned into a skin-suit was high with that one.

is it me? it has to be. time for coffee, or maybe a bottle of wine….

-pineapple

 

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