Well I’m not a huge Madonna fan, but I felt the phase was fitting. I’ve been thinking a lot about all my past relationships and how utterly lame they were. Obviously, due to lack longevity (I blame that mostly on age) the things I have gotten are rather lame.
Just to give you some of the hi-lights, here I go…
First boyfriend at age 16 sent me flowers on my birthday. I blame him and all those sappy movies for that expectation. He also gave me a duct tape flower and a key to his heart. One of the most cheezy, yet innocent and sweet? I was just young and dumb.
First boyfriend in college wrote me a song on the guitar. it was strangely close to the one I heard him sing to his girlfriend a few weeks before… Anyway, he also got me sweet red roses for valentines day. After I told him of course I hate red roses. Then again, what guy really listens? Oh then for my birthday I got 2 chocolate candy bars and the travel game of 20 questions. I shit you not. Happy birthday to me.
The drug dealer or was he just a doer? (No judgement please) gave me the most beautiful 10$ golden necklace in the shape of a heart with my birthstone. I’ve seen better jewelry at Walmart and this was just 2 weeks into dating. I also had told him I didn’t wear gold. Go figure another listener.
G.i.joe wasn’t terrible. Granted most of the stuff I borrowed with no intension of returning. Mostly shirts cuz the military has some badass tshirts. The bag with my name on it wasn’t bad either.
The last one was pretty good. He left me coffee on my car before work, and flowers next to my bed for me to come home to. He also got me a necklace from Tiffany and co. Hello upgrade. I still wear it to this day because it’s actually really nice.
I’m hoping it’s mostly an age thing? But guys really need to understand sometimes it’s nice to get something that sparkles or some flowers. A candy bar or jewelry from a gum machine doesn’t cut it anymore.
I’m a superficial douche. Oh well.