ive given up on tinder for a while, but i have not given up on swiping. theres somthing about it. its just too easy. damn you technology.
theres a new app which puts girls in control and has been described as the sadie hawkins of online dating. im into that.
the first encounter was around the end of June. a travel nurse. i had no clue what that was but of course he seemed normal. when am i ever going to learn, no one is normal. he had just moved to the durham area and was looking for someone to hangout with. ohh pick me. we hung out a handful of times and made out like we were in 7th grade. (even though i didnt get my first kiss til 16?…).then that was it. i was ghosted. he just fell off the face of the earth. i wasnt sad at all.
the second encounter was with a clinical research associate. he looked hot. i was actually surprised he swiped right on me too. i met him for drinks close to one of my jobs to make it easier on me..duh. the conversation was more dull than unsweetened almond milk in unflavored oatmeal. i bailed fairly quickly and didnt respond to any of his followup texts.
the third was a midget from cleveland. ok not a real midget but when i towered over him in my 3inch heels…he felt like a midget. he obvioulsy had a lot to prove. another me-monster who talked about how great he was at his job. (selling suits at his friends business..eh ok.) he shifted the conversation into how many girls hes hooked up with and how good he is at that. hello no thank you.
i kept my hope alive and continued to swipe. a handful of prospects turned out to be duds. nothing went further than texting. *shrug*
the fourth encounter seemed promising. i really need to stop saying that. he was into cars, guns and outdoors. he also had the prettiest dog ever. so im into dogs and the fact it liked me back was a bonus. things got serious with him fast, at least on his end. asked about knowing if you love someone after 2 weeks. im not one to judge by time but i also still need to know what your favorite color and pizza topping is before i bust out the L word. he got the vibe i wasnt into anything serious. he offered to still be friends. i accepted and so far i have a new friend which is awesome. i call that one a win.
the most recent was probably the biggest disappointment as of late. im not saying that sarcastically. everything was great. clicked instantly and had so much in common. we chatted for a day or two. he had recently come to the east coast from the west and had the same kind of background. we met up for a date at a trendy restaurant that had a bar. he brought me flowers which was sweet but posed an issue once we got into the restaurant. he told me to pick a spot so i made my way to a hightop. apparently he didnt want to do that. he gently pushed me to the lounge area with super low hip couches with even lower tables. where the hell am i supposed to put my flowers? the table was large enough for my cocktail and a fly to sit on the edge. i didnt want to put the flowers on the floor, so i dragged another table over. the couch was large enough for me to sit by myself comfortably with a little extra room. how the hell do they expect two people to sit and enjoy each other? granted how do they expect a full grown woman and extremely large man to sit comfortably? impossible. most awkward eating scenario ive ever been in. theres a reason tables you eat at are a certain height. anyway, i tried to make a spark happen, i really did. but between the “wanting to snuggle on the couch” (look dude, theres barely enough room for us on here…the last thing i want to do is be under your arm with no neck mobility to be able to look at you and continue my story) “the hand holding” (i have the sweatiest of palms especially thanks to this ridiculously hot summer) and “the kiss attempt take one” (i saw that coming and instantly grabbed for my water, thought i was in the clear) and “the kiss attempt take two” (yes, i did put my finger on his lips and asked him if he was really going to try to kiss me on our first date. call me an ass. i dont care) hello awkward moment. sheesh. the date eneded with plans to go to lunch the next day. still trying to pour gasoline on a cigarette cherry, i said yes. the next day i had a killer migraine and had to bail. hes since gotten the feeling that “youre just seem to not be as into me when we first started talking…” i feel like ive been in this situation before…oh yea check post “heidi ho neighbor….” regardless he keeps texting me and as we all know i’m terrible at really telling them i just cant.
maybe he’ll get the point so i dont have to do or say anything. till then i’ll just keep avoiding the entire situation like cleaning my apartment.
im mature. i know.